GO BIG OR GO HOME!
TOUGHEN UP YOU WIMPS!
We used to be tougher. And that was a good thing. One of the earliest lessons I learned was that, "Sticks and stones could break my bones, but names could never hurt me." How did we go from there to where we are now in less than a generation ? Words alone, can literally get you arrested in some states - OUTRAGEOUS!
Sure, no one wants to see their child hurting. But we have done them no favor by coddling them? Protecting them from having their feelings hurt or worse, from failing. There's no such thing as having a "thick skin" anymore. Today's kids can get cut by a marshmallow. And that makes me fear for the next generation. There were no safe spaces when I was a kid. When my feelings got hurt, my dad didn't get involved, try to solve the problem for me. He tried to toughen me up. And as I look back, that might have been the greatest gift he ever gave me. And I have done my best to pass along that toughness to my daughter.
It starts early. A difficult teacher, some mean girls, an insult. A bad grade due to lack of preparation, a loss in sports due to a superior talent. I'm so thankful my dad didn't step in. I had to learn for myself. I remember when the "cool girls" in 3rd grade suddenly turned on my daughter. They were downright mean. My wife wanted to get involved. Call the principal, call their parents. I put my foot down. No way. There were lots of other girls, nice kids, maybe not as popular, but certainly smarter and more talented. Good kids. I told her if she wanted to be friends with girls who were small and petty, that was on her. But I wasn't going to get involved. My advice, make friends with the not-so-popular kids. And she did. (Btw, those kids are now doctors and business owners, the mean girls peaked in high school). And it was a joy to see her smile and know she had real friendships.
Later in life it's a coach, an employer, a co-worker. Without the tools honed from dealing with discomfort at a young age, there's no chance as an adult. No parent can protect their kid from a tough boss. But I'll always be there for her to talk, to bounce ideas, to toughen her up. I fear for the snowflakes, the next generation who never learned to deal with stress, who were offended by everything, entitled, and enabled by their parents. I fear there's an entire generation of them that will soon be teaching in schools, running companies, running for office. It depresses me. But there are glimmers of hope. There are outliers. And my bet is they will be the ones who succeed. They will see their peers for their character and their work ethic and their talents. They will build from that foundation and live fulfilling and happy lives. That's what I see for my daughter. And if so, I did my job.